i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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