...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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