Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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