i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
