The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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