Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
