I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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