As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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