don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
