I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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