I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
