I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Everclear isn't food dammit
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize