paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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