She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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