The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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