I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
