She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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