I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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