Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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