Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
