ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
