Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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