but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
