so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
