I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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