"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Even my vagina gasped.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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