Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
