just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
