I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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