its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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