Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
