Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
