please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize