Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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