I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
