.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
