I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
