Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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