maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
