I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Hippo gnu deer
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
