oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
