Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You pole danced in your parka.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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