She went from zero to smokin in five shots
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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