Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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