so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We had to coat check the pizza.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
