He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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