capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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