possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
