Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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