He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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