someone owes me an orgasm
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
