but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I need to align my fucking chakras
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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