I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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