Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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