coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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