She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize