I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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