Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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