So drunk, too bad you don't want this
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
