At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
