why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
