I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
