You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
