i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
