sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize